Over the past several months, I have watched two good friends of mine endure the diagnosis of cancer. I have observed their reactions and am impressed with how they have both handled the news and treatment!
My Sunday School teacher was recently diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer and has undergone chemo and radiation which has been painful and lengthy. He has now gone through his first complete round of these treatments and must now wait for the healing from the radiation in order for the doctors to further determine what will need to happen next. Throughout his diagnosis and treatment he has maintained his faith and positive attitude. He hasn't missed one Sunday! Even when he couldn't talk due to the radiation burns, he has been there smiling and inspiring.
My mentor and good friend, Brian Tracy, announced recently that he has throat cancer, and that he is now involved with chemo treatments and will start radiation at the end of May. He wrote on his blog: "When you think about it, having cancer can be a metaphor for any big problem or unexpected setback in life. It happens unexpectedly, like job loss, bankruptcy, or divorce. You react with surprise, shock, and dismay. Then, you finally accept “the facts on the ground.” From that point onward, the only thing that matters is how you deal with it. Do you accept the new reality and get busy doing what is in your power to do, or do you become angry or depressed and blame other people or circumstances?"
How we COPE with sudden crisis determines whether we succeed or fail. Remaining calm in any crisis is key to surviving it. Over-reaction, panic, and burying your head in the sand won't solve the issue. Take the attitude that this is just another of life's challenges and that with patience, prayer, persistence and perserverance you can overcome. Let's explore how to COPE with a life crisis.
The "C" in COPE stands for
"Challenge." That is not to say that a crisis if fun, but if you stand back, take a deep breath, and begin to assess the situation you can look at it as a challenge. As Brian and my Sunday School teacher both immediately adopted a positive mindset, so we must also adopt a positive attitude when the inevitable crisis occurs. Don't get caught up playing the game, "Ain't It Awful." Meet the challenge head on!
The "O" in COPE is
"Opportunity." I realize that while you're in the midst of crisis you not saying to yourself "wow, this is a great opportunity!" But, as you endure and move through things, you will learn from it and may possibly share it with others. Learning from life's challenges should make us better people. Often however, it can make people bitter not better. That is not the way you handle crisis...you will be better!
Now is a good time to remind you that some skeptics out there will try to argue from the point of extremes. A terminal diagnosis which is often an immediate crisis and one that we will probably all face at some point, does not have to make you bitter. My brother was diagnosed with terminal cancer at the age of 39. He chose to live life to its fullest, looked upon it as a blessing to allow him time to get closer with God, and to experience the love of his family to the fullest. He died 8 months after the diagnosis and did more in that amount of time to live and love than he had in years. Never argue from the point of extreme! That is the weakest point of argument and is best left to those who bury themselves in self-pity and ignorance. My brother didn't become bitter...he became better in terms of his relationships, his emotions and his spirituality.
The "P" in COPE is
"Preparation." In a crisis it is important not to overreact or act in haste. Remember the TV show Happy Days? The kids always hung out at "Al's" Diner. Al was the owner and chef and sometimes counselor to Richie, Pottsy, Ralph and the rest of the gang. Anytime he was approach by one of the teens about a problem he would stand back, run his hand down his face, and say, "yep, yep, yep, yep" and it would take a while before he would really give a response. Step back and be "Al" in a crisis. Take time to prepare how you're going to handle it. Think through the steps you need to take, and never rush into action. Seek out the wise counsel of others, listen to what they say, then prepare your response. Once you have taken the time to prepare, you will know in your heart if what you're planning is the right thing to do.
The "E" in COPE is
"Execution." Once you have had the chance to adopt an attitude of "Challenge, Opportunity, and Preparation" you need to set in motion whatever is necessary to deal with it. Taking action is what most people don't do well. They may actually go through the entire process I just shared, but then won't take the next step to make it happen. Fear paralyzes them, but as Brian Tracy has said to me many times, "Do the thing you fear the most, and the fear will go away."
This whole "COPE" process may only take a few minutes or hours, or it may take days. However, using this model will help. You may not always get the results you're seeking, but will have a better shot at getting there than with no strategy at all.
I hope this has been helpful to you, and I hope you'll take some time to share your thoughts on this post. Please sign up to follow my blog and let's "COPE" with whatever life gives us!
Kind regards,
Ron Stebelton
ron@eagleleadershipconsulting.comwww.eagleleadershipconsulting.com
Dear Friend,
